Every Indian at least once in her/his lifetime
deserves to be generously rewarded for
having martyred their brains ,rationale
and ethics for the selfless cause of making a director or a star rich.
Welcome to the world of Indian cinema which
is capable of tormenting our dead physicists in heaven with its baffling laws
on trajectory and projectile motion.
The Indian heroine
In order to make up for the injustice she is
subjected to in films, I dedicate her a paragraph
that I believe is definitely longer than the duration of her role in a movie. In
kuch kuch hota h it took the brushing of kajol’s saree pallo on SRK's face for him to realize that she too was a woman. Rahul made use of the perfect situation where there was a dead wife, a little kid to
be taken care of and a beautiful woman in love with him. But I guess the fans
would beat be black and blue as they feel that our hero testified true and
timeless romance. Rain god plays a very
important role in our films by pouring in showers at
precisely the moment when our heroine realizes that she is in love and the very
feeling makes her slither around in her translucent dress ,thereby giving a tribute to mandakini of ram
teri ganga maili . Women like veronica in cocktail are ostracized and are
deemed unfit to be marriage material by our beloved cinema. Whether the society
is driving our movies with such notions or is it the other way round is still
unclear as the cause and effect gets mixed up quiet often. Our directors usually don’t have
a story line strong enough to pull a movie beyond 2 hrs. It is then that he sets
off a heroine bouncing around like a ping pong ball in an item song. Her
twisting of lips, unfolding of the tongue like a frog and swinging in the air
like an arboreal mammal over a bunch of drooling men is enough to set off an
explosion in an average perverted Indian male brain. He henceforth starts
living in a parallel universe where he fantasizes a Katrina or rakhi sawant in
every girl passing by on the road.
The Indian hero
The omniscient hero is the God’s
messiah to save the world from evil and wipe the tears our damsels in distress
shed. Quiet often than not he tends to fall for a girl by looking at her legs
or her curvaceous hips and lips. This messiah is also extremely smart as he manages
to fool taani to believe he is Raj not surinder sahni just by shaving of his moustache and wearing
gay colored pants tight enough to kill him by choking his breath. Nevertheless our hero is
so irresistible that not only actresses but also their daughters die to romance
him during his career innings. You have
missed something really big if u missed the visual treat of watching a telugu/tamil hero with a mustache denser than the amazon rain forest , give libido expressions
seeing a girl half their age and twice their length.
The Indian Ghost
If the ghost is a female she
dons a Manish malhotra’s designer white sari and it is most likely that
she was raped which ultimately led her
to turning into a ghost. And if it’s a male ghost it is most likely to
attack the heroine while she is in a shower . And a small hint by an ardent
viewer of Indian cinema ,if u plan to shoo off an Indian ghost read the Hanuman
chalisa Bible may not work
I am glad that the Indian cinema has evolved from just showing off Anil kapoor’s hairy chest to a pregnent woman’s ordeal in finding her dead husband in kahaani. Ending on a good note I shall always vouch for Indian cinema of being able to create high octane drama with loads of entertainment and special accolades to highly talented directors like Farah khan who firsts creates the song and choreographs it , then comes up with a story line that sits apt for the songs .
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