Phobia and its wicked ways !!

                                                                         Vivophobia: 

This is an intense  phobia which has so far not found any cure. Fear of losing mind ,blurting out a song that’s been running on your mind, or wetting  your pants aaah the list never ends .You definitely can’t ask for anything more if your roll number falls between dreadful topper roll numbers and you are called for a group viva. But above all, the most terrific thing to happen would be when  the teacher who loathes you the most happens to come over for a chit chat while you are in the midst of your viva and that expression  you'd wear will be  so like chandler’s when he hears “Oh my god” (Janice) 

                                                                        Commitmento\marriago phobia

You never muster up the courage to fall in love owing to your far sightedness where in you see yourself taking the pain to keep the cellphone in your vicinity and always fully charged and fully recharged too because if u dare  miss a series of calls what befalls on you later is even more painful. The phobia of having to talk on the phone daily irrespective of whether  there is any thing  substantial to  talk

“Did you have dinner baby”

“Yes darling”

“Wat did u have”

“Karela(bitter guard) and dal makhni “

“Was it fried or boiled. Was it bitter like ur dad or was it sweet like me. Do u love me or the karela more” 

And if at all you  successfully manage to get past this phase the next phase termed “where are we headed” phase will surely manage to scare the shits out of you. Girls /women suffer more in this phase owing to a manufacturing defect called “over thinking”. Why does he still play temple run while am sitting next to him, why doesn’t he talk much, doesn’t he find me attractive any more or is it some other girl who is that bitch ?? And then those most dreaded words come out of your epiglottis “we need to talk” and there you go, finally managed to repel a guy and now you can safely change your relationship status to “Newly dumped” . Therefore some wise people like me decide to live a life in solitude but no the heartless world metamorphosis itself into a monster named marriage. You even start to freak out going to others wedding or your relatives house if you are the next sacrificial goat to be offered to the monster.  

The next sacrificial goat: What if I couldn’t just get myself to love my husband and start finding other men better than him. I mean look at draupadi she was married to the hottest and the most desirable men of that era ,yet she was crushing on karna and hence was sent to hell for having violated the Hindu dharma . I fear this consequence matashri.

A married woman turned ascetic: Child that will never happen because this is kaliyug and marriage with just  one MAN  will make you lose  interest in the entire “MAN” kind.

                                                                 Clickophobia 

 Ohk this is one of the craziest disorders people suffer from. That moment before the flash appears, before the camera makes a click sound the subject to be clicked sees the camera growing a mouth of its own and yelling at him/her “U look like an offspring of a mammoth and a dinosaur,do you know how obnoxious that would look and bloody hell now you want a picture F…….” and bam there it is a picture clicked with either your eyes closed or your mouth awfully twisted  and this will remain a testimonial to how hopelessly un-photogenic you are. Thanks to all the horror movies as they further add to the phobia because every time you see a photo of yours you check whether there is any white girl ghost lurking behind you. No wonder only something as evil as a camera can see another evil. 

Concluding on a serious note I believe we as human beings should have one phobia in common . KARMAPHOBIA. Karma is a wonderful bitch that follows where ever you go and barks right when you are in a mid life crisis. So people ,one good deed it comes back equally and one sin it get backs ten times multiplied.